


Aim for the kill

by shieldbearer



Series: Shame on you, Steve. Forever yours [5]
Category: Captain America, Hawkeye-Fandom
Genre: Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha trapped inside the body of an Omega, Alpha/Omega, Anger, Clint Barton Feels, Clint Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Clint Barton, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of beating, M/M, Omega Clint Barton, Omega Verse, Payback, Protective Steve Rogers, Revenge, Sharing a Bed, Sick Steve Rogers, Strong Omega, Tears, Violence, Weak Alpha, complicated relationship, non-consensual bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 04:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10823538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shieldbearer/pseuds/shieldbearer
Summary: Steve is quite ill and about to die. Clint who had been bonded to Steve against his will sees his chance for revenge.- Or in other words: weak Alpha, strong Omega





	Aim for the kill

Silently, the window to Clint’s apartment in the Avengers Tower was pushed opened and a dark dressed person with a hood pulled over the face and a mask that went over the mouth and nose but left the eyes free jumped inside.

It was in the middle of the night. Only the pale moonlight illuminated the room slightly. With determined steps, the person made his way towards the bed that stood in the middle of the room and halted surprised. Although the owner of the bed had left his apartment over two months ago and hadn’t come back since, the bed wasn’t empty. Someone lay inside. - Someone whose body frame was extraordinary muscular but appeared at the same time in a weird way weak and fragile.

A sly grin appeared on the intruder’s face who instantly recognized who the sleeping person was. It hadn’t been planned like this - actually, he had thought to have to make an extra way to find the Captain - but if the fate handed his victim to him on a silver platter.. Even better. Apparently, the Alpha had tried to be closer to his fugitive Omega and therefore lay in his partner’s bed. Well, Steve could get more closeness than he would like soon.

Still, the nocturnal visitor had to set priorities. The sleeping and obviously ill Captain wouldn’t run away right now. And if he was finished with him he wouldn’t go anywhere anymore.

The grin turned to be spiteful in anticipation of what would follow. But then, Clint bethought himself of his first task, bent down and fumbled around with his left hand under the bed for a book he had to his discontent to leave behind when he had absconded precipitately: his diary. The last object that remembered him of his deceased mother and connected him with her and the only one he could share all his secrets with. Clint dreaded to think about what would happen if it would fall into the wrong hands. – And with “wrong hands” he meant every pair of hands that wasn’t his own.

To his relief, he found it and packed it away before he sneaked to the headboard, stayed there in squatting position and took time to get an overview of the situation. Apparently, Coulson hadn’t exaggerated when he had told him that Steve, his Alpha, was in a very bad condition. Clint didn’t need to be a doctor to realize that as the Captain had a nasal cannula and was attached to countless cables that lead to medical equipment which someone had rolled inside the room and had replaced the bow stand with. Only slowly and hardly visible the soldier’s chest rose and fell. The machine showed a way too weak and irregular heartbeat.

Clint had no sympathy when he thought: “Hopefully, Steve doesn’t bite the dust immediately.” No, he only thought that because he wanted to see this bastard suffer for all what he had done to him. – For the fact that he had not only raped him but also taken his life. Sure, he was still alive but he hadn’t control over it anymore. Steve had the lead. Though, the stubborn archer didn’t want to accept that. Since he had been bonded to the Captain the urge to follow an Alpha – or better said his Alpha – was stronger than ever before and it cost Clint a lot of strength to don’t give in. He led this fight every day and cursed Steve for turning him into a dependent Omega.

Clint bristled with anger. No, Steve really shouldn’t escape responsibility by simply dying straight away. He could do this later.

The hate that controlled Clint, since Steve had mated him without asking if he wanted it too, had grown even more since he had run away from his Alpha. There was no contrite Steve who tried to apologize. There was no soldier who tried to explain his “misconduct” with being overcome by his instincts. There was just the longing for his Alpha which drove Clint mad as he, at the same time, didn’t want Steve and the bitemark that remembered him every day about having been treated like Steve’s possession. It remembered him about pain and humiliation, lost freedom and crushed dignity.

A grim look appeared on his face and he felt how the rage inside him took over. But he didn’t suppress it. Why should he? Steve hated suppressants.. Rolling his eyes over his own bad pun, he reached for a button on the electrocardiograph machine and switched off the alarm that would go off when Steve’s heartbeat would get to unhealthy regions. He didn’t need witnesses.

Placing himself again behind Steve’s head, he whispered: “How can you sleep without pure conscience?”

As the soldier’s sleep was light and fitful, he reacted to Clint’s words and tossed about, though he didn’t wake up.

“You’ve ruined the life of an innocent. How can you go on living with this knowledge?” Again, Steve tossed and turned in Clint’s bed and the machine started blinking. Thank God, he had silenced the alarm. And he hadn’t even started the whole fun yet..

“You betrayed one of your friends!” Clint whispered directly into the sleeping man’s ear and had to fight against tearing up. Angry about himself, he bit his lip and swallowed down the sadness.

“Your friend will never be happy in his life again just because of you!”

A groan escaped Steve’s lips and it seemed like he sobbed. Beads of sweat appeared on his forehead when he started to speak in his sleep. Clint interpreted it as “I didn’t want that.” and laughed cheerlessly. That caused the Captain to start up out of his sleep, his eyes darting around but he couldn’t see anyone. Breathing heavily, he let himself sink back into the cushions. His hands were shaking uncontrolled and he reassured himself: “It’s just a dream. Just a vivid nightmare. Everything is fine.” He felt a cold draft and shivered. The curtains moved slightly in the wind as the window that definitely had been closed was open now. Steve froze and tensed. “Everything is fine,” repeated he and burrowed under his blanket.

“Oh really? Is that so?” asked a strident voice. Steve almost did a little jump inside the bed, so shocked was he when he heard it but as he was too weak he even barely winced. A dark shadow moved out of the corner of the room behind him as Steve could observe out of the corner of his eye.

The moonlight fell upon the part of the intruder’s sunken face that wasn’t hidden behind his mask and let it appear even scarier. It was white like a ghost and had dark circles underneath the eyes. The eyebrows were pulled together and the man stared aggressively at him. Steve almost could feel the dark, piercing eyes sear his skin. The death stare of his uninvited visitor made him shiver even more and he searched for shelter under his blanket like a little kid.

Unrelentingly, the stranger who looked like death himself reached with a bony hand for it and ripped it away, laughing deridingly: “Do you think that will stop me from destroying you?”

Steve curled fearfully into a little ball and pressed his pillow against his chest as if it was his protective shield whilst Clint started to enjoy the power he had over Steve and how weak his “great” Alpha was. Pathetic!

The Captain started to sway back and forth, repeating desperately: “It’s just a dream. Just a dream.”

“I might be your worst nightmare but I’m still made out of flesh and blood. You can’t stop me by pretending to not be there.” Clint tried to give his voice a scary touch and was quite contented with himself.

Hardly being able to talk, Steve asked rigid with fear: “Who are you?” Clint grinned underneath his mask what his victim, of course, couldn’t see. “I told you already: I’m your worst nightmare. You gonna wish to wake up, but you never will.”

The Super Soldier who looked anything but super, opened his mouth to cry for help but Clint pressed his hand on his mouth. “Shhhh! Don’t dare to scream or I’ll cut your throat.” With a fluent motion, he let his favorite dagger glide out of his sleeve and traced Steve’s neck. “Do you understand?”

The nostrils of the thus treated flared and his eyes went anxiously from his assailant to the door in the hope to find a way out but he nodded obediently. It was just like the time before he had turned into a Super Soldier. He was too weak to defend himself and people took advantage of it to bully him. Tears glittered tellingly in his eyes. He had thought he had left this horrible part of his life behind but now it seemed like his past would repeat.

Clint followed his glance, let off of Steve and went with swift steps to the door which he locked. “Don’t even try it! I told you there is no way out!”

The archer came back and hunkered down next to the bed. Again, he clenched the dagger, and let it glide over Steve’s upper body towards his heart and afterward over his neck. While he did so he sang to the melody of “Use somebody” from the Kings of Leon in his coarse and silent voice which he used to don’t be immediately noticed by Steve as his Omega: “You know I’m gonna slice somebody. You know I’m gonna slice somebody. Someone like you..” and sounded like a madman by doing so.

“Who.. Why.. What do you want from me?” Steve was confused and afraid all at once. Even though the dagger point felt quite real, he wasn’t entirely sure if a real person stood in front of him or if this was just feverish delirium that tortured him. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Bruce had explained him, that he was about to mentally shut down as Clint, his mate, had rejected him. Normally, it was the other way around. If an Alpha died or didn’t want to be together with the unlucky Omega anymore, the Omega would eventually die as the bond between them that kept the weaker part of the relationship alive was destroyed. However, Clint wasn’t a usual Omega. He seemed to be not affected at all by the separation. It even had been him who had decided to cut off their special connection. And Steve wasn’t a normal Alpha either. He had been an Omega, just like Clint, when he was young before he had turned into a strong Alpha with the help of the Super Soldier serum.

Banner assumed that because of this special condition –having still something Omega-like in his system - Steve suffered so much under their break up although he shouldn’t be affected at all as an Alpha.

There were only a few rumors that something like this – that an Alpha suffered in such a situation instead of the Omega - had happened ever before. The “newest” report about such an occasion was over hundred years old. But no matter if you believed the tales that always ended fatally or not, the situation looked really bad for the soldier.

Bruce who wanted to bolster the suffering Alpha up had told him that Clint hadn’t cut the ropes completely because he was still alive and the archer could have done that long ago if he really wanted. So it was quite likely that Steve still meant too much for the fugitive Omega, despite all, to let him seriously die.

“What I want? Revenge!” Clint yelled the last word and ripped the mask away. Only now, Steve realized who his visitor was. His eyes widened and he swallowed hard. Despite the archer obviously didn’t come for a nice cup of coffee and a peace offering, a little spark of hope inflamed inside him.

“Clint, I’m..”

“Oh, don’t tell me you are sorry. I didn’t come to hear your fucking lies.” The archer spat on the ground and drowned Steve’s hopes with it.

Insecure, Steve who didn’t dare to object asked: “But why did you come then?”

“Oh, I heard you suffer. Wanted to see it with my own eyes and delight in it.” The soldier shirked from Clint’s provocative look. He had it coming. First, when he had detected that his Omega had taken a flight, he had been extremely angry, but then he had found Clint’s diary by accident, had read it and had never felt so bad in his entire life before when he had learned how the marksman had experienced their first heat together. He regretted what he had done to his friend with all his heart. Clint had really all rights to be mad about him and he was ready to take his punishment no matter what it was.

The archer didn’t put him on hold. Sneeringly, he continued: “Look how weak you are. So pathetic. Who of us is the real fake Alpha? You or me?” Steve didn’t answer, so Clint went on with his accusation, his voice stopping sounding dangerously calm and getting louder and enraged instead: “What’s more important? A strong body?” He glanced disdainfully down at Steve “Or a strong mind?”

Again, the enfeebled Alpha didn’t answer. “Tell me! What is more important?“ screamed Clint. “Is your awesome body helping you right now? Does it?”

“N-no.”

“Give the man a prize! He’s so smart,” applauded Clint sarcastically and added: “You never had a single spark of Alpha inside you. You just were lucky enough that they needed a guinea pig for the serum. You think you are born to be a leader? I tell you what: it ain’t so. Leaders take care of their people. They don’t destroy them.”

There fell a short but deep silence before Clint went on. He wasn’t done with his former friend yet. "You asked me what I’m doing here. It’s simple: You ruined my life. Now I’m ruining yours.”

With those words, he threw a newspaper towards the blond. As Steve was too weak, he couldn’t catch it and it landed on his face where it left a tiny cut. Slowly, as he had no power for moving at a normal pace, he reached for it. However, Clint who was too impatient ripped it out of his hands, opened it, and started reading aloud:

“Scandal: Captain America not an Alpha? – Everyone knows and loves our superhero Captain America. Millions of people have trusted the likable Super Soldier since generations. But who is the real person behind our patriotic guardian?

Little is known about Steven Rogers, as the Captain’s real name is. Rumors that claim him to have been originally a Beta who turned into the strongest Alpha of our nation with the help of Dr. Erskine’s serum persist. So far, however, it was neither confirmed nor denied by the soldier. Now, the speculations could start anew, as a source that wants to remain anonymous has let us know that the Captain is indeed no natural-born Alpha. The source alleged no less than the Captain having been an Omega!

First voices went loud that they don’t feel safe being protected by an Omega. People don’t want to have someone like him representing Captain America and our nation. Furthermore, our poll rating shows that over 85 % aren’t convinced that a person of the lowest gender is good enough to hold such an important office. First claims for punishment of Mr. Rogers for transferring into an Alpha have been filed. The court is examining if the accusation is true and will initiate adequate legal proceedings. Blah blah blah.”

Clint lowered the newspaper and looked to the completely distraught Steve. “You’ve told them my secret to destroy my reputation?” His voice was shaking and tearful. The archer felt a slight stab in his heart and asked himself if he went too far with this action. Only a few people knew about Steve’s real past and all of those insiders, including Clint, knew how terrified Steve was that the public would learn about it one day. Steve did everything to appear like a normal, classic Alpha, even if he sometimes didn’t like to behave like this. For example, he once had admitted towards Clint that he hated to speak with everyone who wasn’t an Alpha like he belittled them and as if he was superior. But he still did it to don’t attract attention and don’t make anyone suspicious that he was too soft for an Alpha. So maybe he had treated Clint just in that unrelenting way because he had to.

Doubts appeared inside the archer but he got rid of them easily. This wasn’t a good excuse. The day Steve had claimed him, they had been alone so the Alpha simply could have gone away without making himself suspicious.

The wrath inside Clint inflamed again. “Oh no, I don’t care about your reputation. If it is ruined… well, that would be a collateral damage. Nothing more. Cause I want to destroy you!”

“This spells doom for me,” said Steve reproachfully. He had expected Clint to yell at him, maybe even punch him but that..

“Well, I haven’t provided evidence of it till now. But I guess I don’t have to. The media will come and check themselves if it’s true or not. And what they will find will confirm it: A weak Omega suffering from the split up who will eventually go to die in shame.”

Another tear rolled over Steve’s pale face and dropped on the sheet. Unbelieving, he shook his head slightly, whispering: “After all, I’ve done for them. So ungrateful. I served my country such a long time. Risked my life.. Isn’t this worth anything?”

The archer who had placed himself in a chair next to Steve wanted to sound sarcastically when he stated: “Welcome to the club,” but his bitterness wasn’t to miss hearing.

Again they fell silent and dwelled on their gloomy thoughts. Only Steve’s wheezing interrupted the silence. He still struggled to retain his composure not being able to believe that Clint really had done this to him and had seriously told everyone his secret, though he had the proof in cold print lying in front of him.

The archer used the break to push back his hood. Exhausted, he ruffled through his hair and felt Steve’s gaze upon him. “What?” asked he irritated. The soldier continued staring at him with big eyes and whispered genuinely shocked: “What happened to you?” Shaking, he lifted his hand slightly to show at a huge laceration that was placed on his Omega’s forehead. Indifferent and as if it would be the most normal in the world, Clint shrugged his shoulders: “Jumped from a building.”

For a second, the electrocardiograph showed a flatline as Steve’s heart skipped a beat in shock. He didn’t want to ask but he had to know why Clint had done that. “Did you…” His voice failed and he started anew: “Did you jump because of me?” The dark blond knew exactly that Steve would think he had wanted to commit suicide if he would answer with yes. Still, he did so. Actually, he had done it to save and not to kill himself as he had thought that Steve had sent someone to get him back. So in a way, it was because of the Alpha and therefore his answer wasn’t a lie. That Steve drew the wrong conclusion wasn’t his problem, right?

The once so proud Alpha couldn’t hold his tears back any longer. It was too much for him. He hadn’t wanted all this. He wasn’t able to endure the fact that his friend had tried to kill himself because of his selfish actions.

Clint felt a little bit bad seeing how afflicted his former friend was because of this revelation. Maybe his partner had a heart after all and maybe he was a little bit too unfair towards the weakened Alpha. On the other side.. No. He had just to remember the moment when Steve had grabbed his neck and had forced him down on his knees. That was enough to wipe out every compassion.

As by accident, he bent forward, close to Steve’s face. He didn’t come unprepared. It was always said revenge was a dish best served cold and it was a good advice as he had a lot of time to think. Finally, he had had a great - though for Steve rather cruel - idea and this plan seemed to work perfectly as Steve’s already wide opened eyes widened even more. The Alpha inhaled Clint’s scent and noticed how another fragrance mixed into it. The scent of another Alpha! He sniffed. No doubt. But only on Clint’s lips and his neck. Stammering, he almost didn’t dare to ask: “Have you.. Did someone..?” The archer’s expression went hard. “If someone kissed me against my will? That’s what you want to ask, right?” Steve nodded and felt how he, despite his current weakness, started to bubble with uncontrollable wrath. No one harmed his Omega! However, his chosen one didn’t burst into tears and search refuge at his Alpha. No, Clint shrugged his shoulders, rubbed his chin and pretended like he was thinking about it. “Let me see… Oh, yes, there was a guy…”

Steve clenched his fist. He had heard enough. Wheezily, he sat up. This movement cost him a lot of strength and completely out of breath, he asked: “Who was it? I’m gonna beat the shit out of him!” Chidingly, Clint raised an admonitory finger and said in mock disapproval: “Tsk, tsk, tsk, Steve. Language!” Calmly, he went on: “Besides it could be an interesting fight if you have to batter...” The younger man made a pause and enjoyed how the Captain barely could bear the tension. He had to admit that the Captain’s caring for him if something bad had happened to him and the fact that he wanted to avenge him although he already had problems with sitting touched him. Still, he yelled the last part of his sentence: “…yourself!”

Steve went even paler than he was already and he sounded whiney when he tried to excuse again: “Clint, I wasn’t aware that you would experience it like this. Please, believe me. I didn’t want to..” “To subdue me? To manhandle me? To claim me? Sure, and you also didn’t want to fuck me. You just slipped on the wet floor and landed unfortunate, right?” The sarcasm in Clint’s voice was more than obvious and made the soldier’s heart feel like it would splinter any second. It hurt him to see his friend in such agony and he couldn’t bear the fact that it was his fault. Because although Clint tried to attack and hurt him, he realized that he just behaved like a wounded animal that was in a tight corner. His partner hid his true feelings and snapped at everything he could reach. And he, the one who always had been proud about helping the weak people; he who had been chosen for the Super Soldier Project because people had thought he was inherently a good man; someone who never would forget his original weakness and therefore never would misuse his gained strength, had to be blamed for the archer’s bleeding heart.

Another single tear rolled over Steve’s face and landed on the already wet pillow but he tried his best to pull himself together. His Omega had been clearly kissed by another Alpha and now he was too proud to admit that he had been attacked on the street. Maybe he was even afraid that he would punish him because an Alpha never shared his Omega with anyone else.

Steve swallowed. He had to make clear that he could trust him and that it wasn’t Clint’s fault that he had been compelled by another Alpha to do things he hadn’t wanted to do. If it was someone’s fault, it was his as he hadn’t taken better care for his mate, although he had noticed that he had felt miserable. He should have known that his Omega would run away.

As empathetic as possible, Steve assured: “Clint, if you’ve been sexually assaulted by someone, let me now. I’m your Alpha. I can help you.” Agitated, the dark blond jumped on his feet and asked aggressively: “Do you really think I’m not able to defend myself?” A silent voice in his head whispered: _“Well you couldn’t against the Captain..”_ This caused Clint to get even madder and he yelled: “Enough! It’s not everyone such an unscrupulous, selfish bastard as you are, Steven Rogers!” He started to walk up and down the room to blow off his steam. Then he turned back to the bed and let his hand wander down Steve’s naked upper body. The Captain’s appalled gaze followed him.

Clint reached the waistband of the sweat pants and slipped his hand under it. Now only the thin fabric of the soldier’s underwear separated them.

“Clint, what are you doing? Please stop.”

To Steve’s misery, Clint didn’t listen and continued rubbing his hand against the growing bulge he could feel.

“Not in the mood, hmm? Your body is telling me something else though..”

He tightened his grip. “Well, I’m sorry…okay, that was a lie…but I’m going to leave you behind just like you did to me: laying on the ground covered in blood and..and..” He retched and didn’t manage to say out loud the word “semen” as it remembered him too much of having been sexually assaulted.

“I want you to experience the same humiliation I felt.”

Steve tensed and tried effortlessly to get rid of Clint’s hand in his pants.

“Oh don’t even try it. You are too weak.”

“Please, Clint..”

The clearly superior archer rolled his eyes and sighed theatrically. “Gosh, why do you waste my time and your energy with begging? You know what happens to pleas from a, let’s say not so strong person, right? You know it!”

Steve suppressed a sob and nodded.

“Exactly, no one listens to them. No one gives a shit about what you feel inside!” Clint dragged his hand back and knocked against his heart. Quickly, he turned away so Steve couldn’t see the tears glittering tellingly in his eyes.

When he had himself to a certain degree under control again, he bowed down to Steve again and whispered him into his ear: “The scent you can smell..” He paused and waited that Steve inhaled it again before he continued: “..it’s from Aaron.”

Only slowly awareness showed on the soldier's face. Again the line on the electrocardiograph machine went dangerously flat. “Aaron… Is he your new partner?” His voice wavered. The condition of the both men couldn’t be much more different than at this moment. Steve could barely breathe and his heart felt like ripped out and thrown away whilst Clint was high-spirited and did his best to don’t let Steve see his grin. Inwardly, he rejoiced. His plan had worked. Steve believed he had a new mate. The worst thing that could happen to an Alpha: being replaced. – Or normally it actually even couldn’t happen as an Omega wasn’t powerful enough to break the connection to his owner and find a new Alpha. But he had made it possible. Okay, he had cheated a little bit, but again, he hadn’t lied when he affirmed Steve’s assumption. Aaron was really his partner. However, they weren’t a couple. They were rather partners in crime. But again: Steve’s wrong conclusions weren’t his problem, right? And he indeed had gotten the scent from Aaron.

The man of about the same age who even looked a lot like Clint had found him completely exhausted, sitting in the rain and slowly going mad, talking to someone who wasn’t even there. Spontaneously, he had taken him away into his hideout to take care for Clint till his mental and physical states were stable again. Both of them had immediately known that they were not only Omegas but that they were something special too as they were both on the run. The one had absconded from his Alpha, the other one – Aaron Cross – was still running away from being bonded against his will. They had never met anyone else who had been like them before and quite quickly, they had evolved a close friendship.

Aaron had shared his suppressants and his Alpha fake scent without hesitation as he was of the opinion that they had to stick together. And Clint had had the idea to use the fake scent to shock Steve with it. And obviously, it worked. Oh, wasn’t it a wonderful day today?

The archer was interrupted in his happy mood when Steve asked insecurely: “And the necklace? Is it a present of.. of your new friend?” His voice went low and his eyes sad. He also had wanted to give his Omega presents but Clint had rejected everything from him. He even hadn’t accepted food.

Clint looked down at himself and pretended like he had forgotten that he was indeed wearing a leather necklace with sharp spikes that made a little bit the impression of a dog’s collar. “Oh that…Well, yes.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Y’know, he’s quite attentive and thought it could protect me from Alpha attacks. He says the spikes will make it impossible to grab my neck unless of course, you are into pain and pierced hands..” He trailed off and smiled when he remembered how Aaron had given him the necklace with the words that now only a Mohawk and a little bit of kohl would be missing to look like a sexy punk or outlaw. Wild, free, and giving a shit about authority. Yeah, well maybe he was that now.

“I could have protected you better,” said Steve offended when he read between the lines how much Clint liked this Aaron and destroyed with it Clint’s good mood within a split second. He swirled around and jumped on the bed to sit on Steve’s lap. Then he grabbed his shoulders with both hands and shook him, yelling: “You think you could have protected me better from Alphas that are so dishonorable to take advantage of my only weak point and force me to my knees with it because they wouldn’t stand a chance in a real fight against me? You really think that?” He let off of Steve but only to punch him so hard that the Captain's face was swirled to the right side and blood splattered out of his nose. “You did this too, you fucking hypocritical asshole!”

He punched Steve again, straightened up and got rid of his hoodie. Revealing his naked upper body he asked: “See that?” Rudely, he tugged Steve on his hair and made the soldier look at his neck where Steve was presented a dreadful sight. His bitemark was crossed by fine, red lines which were deep cuts into the skin as if Clint had tried to finish his attempt to cut it out as he had wanted to do short after the mating and that had been prevented by Steve.

“Watch!” commanded Clint, took his dagger and carved into his flesh. Blood ran out of the fresh wound, streamed down his body and dropped on Steve’s chest. And although it was the Omega who hurt himself, it was the Alpha who gasped for air in shock and pain. Clint cut himself again and grinned maliciously. Every cut seemed not only to scratch off the bitemark but also the bond that had been woven between them when they had mated. The archer literally cut himself off from his Alpha and Steve felt how he became weaker and weaker with every slash wound his Omega inflicted upon himself.

Knowing that he had to act before it would be too late, Steve gathered all his strength that was left and slapped the dagger out of his partner’s hand. He could bear the pain he felt when Clint hurt himself, he could even bear the fact that his system soon would shut down if Clint would cut the last connection between them, but he couldn’t watch any longer how his Omega injured himself. It broke his heart.

The archer was anything but happy about Steve’s action and punched him again very brutally. “Do you think I allow you to gain control again? Cause if so, you are wrong! It’s my turn!” The smaller of the two clenched his fist and hit Steve who quickly closed his eyes and winced even more than before. A suspicious crack that signalized that the soldier’s nose was broken ripped Clint out of his beating attack.

Breathing heavily, the archer sat on the soldier and stared first with an unbelieving glance on the injured man underneath him and then at his own trembling hands.

As Clint didn’t attack him anymore, Steve dared to open his eyes again but regretted it immediately. His Omega howled with pure desperation and anger and thrashed him. He lost control over himself and kept slapping and punching Steve. Soon, the soldier’s face was swollen and covered in bruises. Blood ran out of his nose and his mouth, as well as out of countless wounds. Everything spun in his head and he even lost consciousness for a couple of seconds. But Clint didn’t notice it. He cried. His tears blinded him and the feeling of helplessness and mental overload overwhelmed him. All that had happened to him during the last weeks had been simply too much for him. No, actually it weren’t only the last weeks. His whole life was too much for him to bear any longer.

Suddenly, it wasn’t Steve anymore who lay underneath him and groaned in pain. It was his dad who had hurt him so often when he had been a child and now it was time for payback. He punched and punched and punched to make his dad pay for everything he had done to him.

With his brother’s voice in his ears mocking him to be a loser, he jumped up to batter him as well but as he couldn’t find him, he simply let himself fall on Steve’s belly again. The Captain howled in pain and squirmed. The fact that Clint screamed not only his name whilst he hurt him showed Steve that the archer had lost all senses and fought against the demons of his past and it hurt the Captain more that he was one of Clint’s demons than the physical pain his Omega inflicted on him. He didn’t want to be named together with all those persons that had abused Clint before he turned into an Avenger as it meant that he wasn’t better than all those people Clint and also he himself despised.

Hoarsely, he managed only with big effort to utter: “Clint! I’m not your dad or brother! Please, calm down.” The thus addressed stopped short, his fist hovering in the air. Steve could watch how the younger man blinked and returned slowly from wherever he had mentally been.

“Why should I do that?”

The Captain didn’t need to think a second: “Cause I’m with you till the end of the line!” He had meant it to be a statement that gave his confused Omega security but Clint screamed only a desperate “Nooooo!” and tears started again to run down his face like torrents. Wanting not to be enslaved for a lifetime, he had to get rid of the Alpha. It would have been easy with his dagger. But he didn’t think rational. Just used his fists to color the sheets red with Steve’s blood by punching him, being completely out of his senses. Again, he was dragged away to a place where nothing was important. Just lifting his arm, clenching his fist, and smashing everything that was within reach. He repeated the movement over and over again. Not knowing what he actually did there. His eyes stared through the Captain, not seeing him.

It took quite a while till Clint was too exhausted to go on beating the Alpha and he paused tired. Only now, he returned from his own little world filled with pain and degradation. And only now, he saw Steve’s maltreated face. Saw how the Captain’s lips were chapped. Saw the blood running down and staining the bed. Saw how Steve hardly could open his swollen eyes. Saw the huge, colorful hematomas. Appalled by his own work, he flinched and couldn’t believe what he had done. He couldn’t even remember how he had done it. But the blood was proof enough that it wasn’t only a bad dream.

Still shocked about himself, he let himself glide down of Steve’s lap. He crawled into an edge and buried his face in his arms. Steve had apologized. That was all he could expect as Steve couldn’t turn back time even if he wanted to and he also couldn’t undo the bitemark that connected them forever. He had let him suffer physically and emotionally. So he had everything he had wanted: revenge. But Clint didn’t feel good like he had thought. On the contrary. He felt empty, drained, and sick. And first and foremost, he was ashamed. He reproached his former friend for taking advantage of the weakness of his opponent and now he had done it himself. And he hadn’t even enjoyed the superiority. Had just let himself be dragged away by the feeling of power and had lost himself in the opportunity to let someone pay for everything that had gone wrong in his life. But although Steve had done something horrible to him indeed, he couldn’t blame him for his never existing childhood, as well as he couldn’t blame him for his abusive father, for his greedy brother, or for the fact that he was born as an Omega.

Slowly, Clint looked up but averted immediately his eyes when he saw Steve laying bleeding in the bed, struggling for breath, his hands clenched into the sheets. The archer got even sicker at this sight and had almost to throw up.

When the urge to gag was over, he remembered his mission: he wanted to revenge himself for being mated by Steve without having been asked. He didn’t come to make himself feeling terrible. He wanted to feel better. Didn’t already the bible say “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”? So what should be wrong about letting Steve live through what he had to experience thanks to him?

Clint tried to tell himself that it wouldn’t turn him into a bad person and that he only did what was his right but he couldn’t convince himself entirely. Something in his mind told him true greatness would be to forgive Steve and to don’t use the advantage of being stronger. But he wanted to show his former friend that he couldn’t treat him like crap and he didn’t know how he could make it better clear than with teaching him a lesson, although it meant that he was not a bit better than the Alpha.

For a moment he in- and exhaled deeply and forced a hard mask on his face to hide his true feelings and the fact that he wasn’t in the mood for fighting anymore. He wanted to sound contemptuous when he said: “You haven’t earned it any other way!” but missed his goal. Steve’s answer was so silent and feeble that Clint crawled to him and held his ear close to the Alpha’s mouth. “I know. And I’m truly sorry.” The severely injured man opened his mouth to say more but closed it again only to open it helplessly once more, his hands fumbling around and his eyes wide open. Clint looked confused up. “Air,” mouthed Steve with the last of his strength. “Can’t breathe.” Without thinking, Clint reached for the nasal cannula he had ripped out of Steve’s nose during his beating attack and placed it back where it belonged. Almost instantly, Steve relaxed and enjoyed the support of the medical device that helped him breathing.

Thankfully, he brushed with his fingers over Clint’s hand. The Omega pulled it quickly away but saw Steve’s sorrowful look and placed it back on the soldier’s palm. A faint smile crossed the Alpha’s face. Not only because of the conciliatory gesture of his Omega but also because he felt that the bond that existed between them since he had marked him went stronger again. It wasn’t much but it was enough to give him back a little bit of his strength.

He lifted his hand and wiped Clint’s tears away which the archer hadn’t even noticed.

The dark blond looked up. “I’m sorry, Steve. I lost control. The last minutes…this wasn’t me. I’m not like that.” Steve smiled sadly: “Don’t apologize. I drove you into doing it with forcing myself on you.” He trailed off, not daring to speak out loud his atrocity in detail. The younger nodded and it was on him to state: “I know.”

Gently, Steve tapped on the mattress and Clint understood his invitation to lie down next to him. He hesitated but finally, they were lying side by side and looking at the ceiling. No one of them knew how to start but Steve took heart eventually and said silently: “I know you don’t want to hear it. But please, give me just once the time to apologize. Afterward, you can hate me and beat me up as often as you want. But please listen.” The beseeching tone of his Alpha caused goosebumps by the archer and he sighed but nodded.

Taking a deep breath, Steve begun: “The night when I saw you standing in front of me, naked and going into heat… I was overcome by my instincts but also by my longing for you I had since the very first minute I’ve seen you.” Clint’s expression darkened a little bit but he stayed silent. “It sounds lame but it’s true what people say about me: I’m inexperienced. Clint, I didn’t know how to cope with this situation.” He sat up and searched for his partner’s eyes but Clint had closed them and turned his head away. The conversation brought back the memories of what the soldier had done to him and how unrelenting he had been. And now he seriously tried to explain it with having no clue of sex? Even an idiot should know that forcing someone to sleep with him wouldn’t be the right way to start a romantic relationship. Why hadn’t Steve simply left the bath as soon as he had realized the Omega scent of which he knew that it would make him lose control if he stayed?

Clint gulped back a sob and pressed his eyelids together. Still, tears found its way out of them. Steve let himself sink into the mattress and although he was well aware that he hurt Clint with his words, he had to go on. It wouldn’t justify his actions but he simply had to use the chance that Clint listened to explain himself. “I’ve never learned how to treat an Omega the right way.” Clint interrupted him reproachfully: “How about the same way you treat every other person?” Steve nodded. “Yes, I shouldn’t have made a difference. It’s just… when I was an Omega I had been treated the same way and I thought that’s the way you do it. I learned now that this was wrong and I promise to never copy a behavior without thinking again.” There was no answer from the man next to him. “Maybe I’ve been a soldier for a too long time. I had the feeling that you are violating the law with your behavior and that I had to discipline you.” Clint wanted to protest but Steve appeased him: “It was stupid of me to think that. I won’t do it again. I’ll never raise my hand against you.”

The Omega rolled on his side so he could face his partner and searched for his eyes. “Did you only bite me because of your instincts or was there more behind it?” Steve went very serious when he confessed with utter conviction: “I also did it because I love you.”

“But if you really would do so, why didn’t you give a damn about what I wanted?”

The older who saw how much his involuntary mate suffered from the situation whispered: “I was convinced to do the right thing. I thought you don’t understand what is good for you and that you need someone who protects you.” He had already feared that Clint could erupt in anger again when he would hear that he wanted to be his guardian and right, the archer gritted his teeth and frown wrinkles showed on his forehead.

Quickly, before his Omega could throw a tantrum again, he added: “And maybe I was just afraid.” Clint raised a brow. That came unexpectedly. Why should someone like the Captain be afraid and how was it connected with mating him? He didn’t need to speak his questions out loud. They were clearly written all over his face. “Well…” Steve hemmed and hawed. “As you’ve perfectly analyzed..” He held the newspaper unhappily into the air “..one of my biggest fears is.. was that someone would find out about my real background and that people would think I still have something weak inside me. I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to be Captain America any longer. It’s all I have left from the time before I’ve been frozen..” He turned his head away so Clint couldn’t see his sad face anymore. But the archer didn’t look at him anyway. He was distracted by searching secretly for his dairy which he had hidden in his backpack that stood next to him and held it tight in his hand when he found it. He knew how it was to lose the last thing that brought back the few things in life that had been good and that was at the same time the only ray of light in a dark and lonely world.

“Well, obviously I really am still weak to a certain extent,” continued Steve without noticing Clint’s search for his diary. The Alpha halted and Clint could feel how uncomfortable it made the Captain to speak about it and to admit his weakness. “I almost died because you were about cutting the bond between us. A real Alpha wouldn’t have been influenced at all.” They fell silent and Clint used the time to try to convince himself that he had done the right thing with publishing the story. The Alpha suffered and would face a bad future. If that wasn’t a great payback, he didn’t know what was. But he wasn’t happy. He was torn between two extremes that could be described the best as _‘I should hate him’_ and _‘I went too far’_. But nothing inside him said _‘Kudos for ruining this bastard’s life’_.

Steve broke the silence eventually: “Anyway. I had the nonsense idea that I could proof my status of a strong Alpha with an Omega.” “So you state to be in love with me but in the end, I’ve been only a status symbol for you?” Clint sounded hurt what didn’t stay unnoticed by Steve who corrected his ambiguous statement quickly: “No, Clint! I really do love you! Believe me! This just came in handy. Like a positive side effect.”

The archer didn’t react to Steve’s anew love confession and rolled out of the bed. “Speaking about side effects..” He stood up and reached for his backpack. “It’s time for me to go.”

Clint moved towards the window through which he had entered the room about an hour ago and sat down on the window sill. “What are you doing, Clint? Please, don’t leave.” Steve was terrified that he would see his Omega - his friend - never again and that the bond that just had started to heal would be ripped apart again. “I’m sorry, Steve but I will follow my dream. There is a Hydra base not far away from here. I heard they are searching for a test candidate for their own Super Soldier serum.” Steve went so pale that he could easily compete with the white sheet underneath him. “Please, don’t tell me you go there to let yourself inject that cocktail!” The archer shrugged his shoulders. “I want to turn into an Alpha just like you’ve done. I want to finally be the person on the outside which I’m already on the inside.”

“But it will kill me!” A spark of anger inflamed inside Clint. This Alpha thought always only about himself. He knew that he was unfair as both of them were well aware that he had just signed Steve’s death warrant as the bond would be inevitable destroyed as soon as Clint turned into an Alpha but he couldn’t help it and said with such coldness that he was shocked by himself how cold-blooded he was: “Maybe. But you know: Sometimes you just have to accept what you are and what comes along with it.”

Steve sat on the edge of the bed with hanging head. “I won’t hold you back, Clint, although I think it’s pure madness. If I have learned one lesson, it’s that I can’t decide your fate. But let me come with you. You can’t trust Hydra. Let me protect you. Please!” He got rid of the electrodes and the nasal cannula and tried to get up but failed to do so, his legs giving in immediately.

Clint shook his head. “No, Steve. I have to walk my way alone.”

For a long time, Steve didn’t say a word. Just sat there and tried to save the picture of the archer sitting on the window sill for eternity. He knew he wouldn’t see him ever again and he was terrified of what might happen to his Omega but he also understood which hopes let Clint do this mission that looked like a suicide commando. And he understood that his friend would never be truly happy in his life if he had never tried it. So that was why he raised his head and whispered: “Be careful,” when Clint was already about to go.

In his disbelieve that Steve gave his blessing, Clint jumped down the window, was with two steps at Steve’s sickbed and hugged him tightly. Being at a loss for words, he let go of him and turned away after quite a while. Again he sat on the window sill, his legs dangling in the air, his heart pounding like mad when he heard what else the Captain had to tell him: “I hope you will find what you are searching for. But for me, you are already the strongest person I’ve ever met. Even without the serum.” Clint smiled, rubbed over his eyes which started to water, saluted, and said: “See you in hell, old man,” before he let himself fall backward out of the window.

The shock about what just had happened gave Steve enough energy to jump up. He rushed to the window, looked down, stumbled back, pressed his hand on his heart, and sank to the ground. Oh, this archer drove him out of his mind. For an agonizing second, he had thought Clint had killed himself but the archer had used one of his trick arrows to climb up the glass facade on the rope he had attached to the arrow that now was stuck to the glass and had made it possible to enter the building and he had used it again to leave it. Steve had seen at the last moment how Clint had detached a carabiner and had disappeared around the next corner.

Barely arrived there, Clint reached inside his pocket and brought a tattered flower to light and let it fall into the dirt. Originally, he had planned to throw it against Steve with the words: “For your funeral. Won’t have time to come. Have better things to do. Won’t miss you anyway.” Yes, this behavior would have been juvenile and something every drama queen would be proud of but still, he had taken a mischievous pleasure in imagining Steve’s stupid face when he had prepared his visit.

Now, however, he felt bad that he had had such a morbid idea at all and was ashamed of it. Steve was ready to die, just so he could live his dream: becoming an Alpha. And he would. Determined he sped up his pace. It was time to transform into a Super Soldier himself.


End file.
